I was sitting in the nave at church this past Tuesday during that period we call “Silence in the City,” when I heard the story of Elijah meeting God. You’ve probably heard the story from 1 Kings – Elijah is told to go stand on the mountain, for the Lord is about to pass by. And through a mighty wind, a rumbling earthquake, and a roaring fire, Elijah waits but does not find God there. He sees God in the sound of silence. But the line that hit me was the last one: “Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
I’m the kind of person who likes activity. I make lists, then check the items off. I like a plan, whether it’s housework, a dinner party, or even a gym workout. When I was looking to enrich my prayer life, I found a six-step prayer program that helped me form the daily pattern that I follow to this day. (Adoration, Thanksgiving, Dedication, Guidance, Intercession, Petition, and Meditation. Wow! There it is! Now you’re the expert!)
When it came to meditation, I took an easy out. I used the daily meditation found in Forward Day by Day. But I soon began to think that something was missing. If you look at those first five steps of my prayer plan, it’s all me talking to God. Surely, God had more to say than the few short paragraphs in a devotional magazine. So, I began reading the Bible passages from the daily lectionary in The Book of Common Prayer. But still, it seemed so “wordy,” as if I didn’t give God a chance to say anything.
About this time, the Preschool and Kindergarten at the church I was serving began dedicating a few minutes of our chapel services to meditation. Our priest taught those three, four, and five-year-olds to sit still, without making a sound, for five minutes. You could hear a pin drop in the church with 80 preschoolers in the pews. They were taught the Aramaic word “Maranatha” (“Come, Lord”) to repeat silently in their minds. If they strayed, they were told to pick back up where they left off.
If a five-year-old could still be for five minutes, then surely I could, so I began to do that at home. Using a variety of words and phrases, I would sit comfortably, with my eyes closed, and repeat the mantra until something got my attention. Perhaps it was a bird, a car revving its engine, or an airplane overhead. When that happened, I’d notice it, then return to my catchword and move on.
Actually, it doesn’t. There was only one perfect man, and they crucified him on a cross. But practice does make you more comfortable with what you are doing. I’ve been practicing piano and organ for over 60 years, and the same principles apply. In music, you play a passage until you get it right, then you play it until you can’t get it wrong. Meditation is a little more forgiving. I am ADHD; it doesn’t take much to grab my attention away from matters at hand. Intrusive thoughts are like weeds that grow in a well-tended garden. Just pull them out and go on.
Lately, I have been listening more. I may start without a mantra, and I listen to the sounds around me instead. Sitting in the church at the corner of 2nd and Adams, you hear a lot of sounds you might not pay attention to otherwise. Street sounds, voices, sirens, construction. I’ve used them to guide my thoughts and prayers.
Like I said, I like to be busy. But after quiet reflection, when my body and soul have both been still, I find myself closer to God and, therefore, closer to a peace that makes the world seem just a little bit easier to deal with.
Calvary is open every Tuesday in Lent at 12:05 for thirty minutes of silence and prayer. If you can’t join us in person, find your own quiet place to be still and know that God is God.
Oh, Jackson, I needed this! Thank you so much for all you do – and practicing until you can’t get it wrong.
Thank you, Nancy, for your comment. Keep practicing!
A remarkable reflection. I truly needed to read it. Life seems increasingly complicated. We are all facing so many dilemmas. Challenges in every direction.
I intend to have time for silent reflection. Thanks
Thanks, Kathleen. I admit that I couldn’t face a lot of what life is bringing us right now without the centering that my quiet time brings me. Psalm 62 says it well for me: “For God alone my soul in silence waits; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold, so that I shall not be greatly shaken.”
Jackson, Love the comment, “practicing until you can’t get it wrong”. Applies to a lot of life.
Good to see you an this blog.
Thanks, George!
This is lovely, Jackson. Every day you offer me a new reason to be thankful you are here. I like your challenge to meditate and be still. Thank you.
You are too kind in your words! I am the one who finds new reasons everyday to be thankful. And as a musician, i know you understand the need to just be silent every now and then!
This is beautiful and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and practice with us
Thank you, LG, for taking the time to read it and respond!
What a splendid and thoughtful post, Jackson. You’ve got me thinking about the notion that “perfect” can also mean something more like “whole” or “complete.” I hadn’t ever thought of this in terms of practice(s). Practice doesn’t make us flawless. But your practices sound like ones that might help make us a little more whole. Thank you.
Thanks, Scott! I guess I am letting a little of my Methodist background show through, as John Wesley urged people to “strive after perfection.” Not that we will ever be perfect, but we keep striving! Or, as we were fond of saying in the 70s, “Keep on Trucking!”
Thank you so much for sharing Jackson. I love your vulnerability and appreciate the experience. I am so thankful you are here. Seeing you is such a comfort.
Oh, Zada, thank you! I am indeed blessed to be a part of the Calvary family. I think that vulnerability and owning that vulnerability is a gift.
I, too, have a hard time being still and slowing down my hamster wheel brain. But, I am better today after working on these for a few days!!! Years!! Feeling connected/peaceful is the ticket. I am so glad you are part of Calvary!!!
Thank you, Mary! I am happy to be a part of Calvary right there beside you!
Jackson, thank you! Your comments are insightful and inciteful. Joan Chittister suggests that exterior silence can develop a sense of interior peace and the second value of silence can provide the stillness that enables the ear of the heart to hear the God who is “not in the whirlwind.”
Thank you, Bill! I love Joan Chittister. I am reading her book on aging, “The Gift of Years,” right now.
Jackson, I’m inspired once again to try sitting quietly in meditation. Thank you for reminding me that we can hear God’s voice in so many ways and quietly sitting is not a chore but a blessing. Thank you!
Thank you, Linda, for responding. I sometimes dread stopping and sitting still, but once I get there, it just passes by so quickly, and I feel much more at peace.
Jackson, Thank you for your comments about the practice of meditation and reminding me how important it has been in my life. I started practicing meditation when I was in a stressful and deadline-driven job. I think the practice helped to re-train my mind and keep me more in the moment rather than jumping around to different thoughts and tasks. Since that time (and retirement) I haven’t been doing a daily practice (only every once in a while). It’s very difficult to make yourself just sit, but your words have motivated me, and I can’t thank you enough!
Thank you, Cathy, for your kind words. Now that I AM retired (at least part-time!) I find that my meditation time is a luxury that I can really appreciate!
Jackson- thank you. Inspires me to work to enhance my morning practice. Silence and allowing one’s breath are keys to me. Also like the reminder that I won’t be perfect and that is OK. Peace!
And slowing – not allowing. Ha ha!
I read all the replies to Jackson’s blog. Certainly it is necessary to discover God in this mostly Godless world. But finding God is not enough, passivity is not enough, one must actively revere and ‘love’ God. Jesus preached that the greatest commandment was to love God “with all thy heart, all thy soul, all thy strength and all thy mind” (Mt,22:37). The addition of the last term to the original in Deuteronomy is significant. I try to remember the commandment as much as I can. God needs our active consciousness and love. More than helping us, I believe they augment Him.